I have compassion for the women in the #metoo movement. Over the years, I’ve been sexually harassed in a multitude of ways, with various levels of intensity. In regard to the two incidents I’m going to share, the word harassed is excessive. For the sake of clearly speaking my truth, I’d say these experiences were more in poor taste than a malicious intent to harm.
I used one of the stories as an example in my novel, Complicated…by Design, to underscore the reason why my protagonist chose to start her own business instead of being subjected to daily workplace sexism. That creative tale stemmed from the summer of 1990 when my boss at an architectural firm told a partner we’d head back to the office as soon as he finished licking the chocolate-cream filling off my inner thighs. I was fresh out of college. It was my first week on the job.
Even though my boss wasn’t lapping chocolate off my adductors, that didn’t stop me from worrying whether the partners would ask for a trip to the bakery. It also wasn’t the first time my thighs had become a topic when it wasn’t my intention. I was a gymnast in college. My quads were big and muscular. Huge, actually. One of my least favorite body parts, I didn’t flaunt them. I hid them. That said, I understood when a college professor asked me to stop sitting in the front row because my thighs were too distracting. It was an evening class, and I’d rush in after practice wearing bike shorts with a bag of ice strapped to my knee. I’m sure without thinking, my legs were partially spread as I iced my injury. Thus, I wasn’t offended by his request. I was embarrassed. After that, he barely spoke to me. That is, until I saw him in a bar and he came onto me. To which, I politely declined.
I also must confess that I’m guilty of a drunken night where I grabbed a man’s crotch at a business function. I’m sure that wasn’t the only incident. Yet, that’s hard to say because when you’re on the giving end, those memories have a tendency to fade. Once the goal is accomplished, whether it be getting attention, creating shock and awe, or worse, it’s easy to let it go. There is no emotion attached past the initial incident, thus moving on happens without understanding the mark that may have been left on someone’s ego.
Now that I’m fifty, I prefer to step back and look at the bigger picture. That’s why I’m grateful for all the people who played those roles in my life. I’d also like to thank Harvey Weinstein. I know that may shock some, but he was THAT domino. The one that gets knocked over when the pendulum starts to swing the opposite direction, eventually opening the door for a paradigm shift.
For all Harvey did, I still have compassion. I sense the truth behind the truth of the man we see. My guess is that Harvey’s ego is kicking and screaming, not believing this could happen to him. While deep, deep, inside there is calm amid the storm. As unconventional as it may seem, I believe his higher self knew this would happen. His soul was courageous enough to take the part, play the role, and help start a movement that allows years of shame, guilt, mistrust and abuse to be brought to the surface for cleansing and clearing. Woohoo! That’s why I thank Harvey Weinstein.
Most likely, while his ego is cussing up a blue streak, his highest expression is celebrating. Why? Once you’ve experienced the lowest of lows, the potential exists for the pendulum to swing back to the opposite side, where the maximum growth and expansion exist. Who knows, he may stick around for that journey in this lifetime, or he may choose to move onto another, having full momentum on his soul’s side. Either way, in Weinstein’s wake, we are experiencing a massive shift that will ultimately swing back to a more peaceful place.
For the wave of change to reach calmer waters, it’s important to remember that in every moment we have a choice. We can continue to choose the old ways of fear, revenge, power over others, judgement, and embellishing stories for personal gain, or the new ways based in love and truth. I don’t know about you, but I choose LOVE. I choose TRUTH.
Cheers to happier, healthier interactions in 2018 and beyond!