Don’t Judge Others if YOU Don’t Want to be Judged

My private coaching sessions in helping others learn how to find calm amid the chaos and design less complicated lives led me to be interviewed for a documentary in LA this past week. During the interview an unexpected answer flew out of my mouth when I was asked, “If you could tell people one important message from your book, Complicated…by Design, what would it be?”

“Don’t judge others if you don’t want to be judged,” I replied.

In the past, I would’ve kicked myself and spent hours thinking about what I should’ve said or how crazy it was not to have spouted off my typical reply that life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it, and even if everyone else around you is on emotional overload, you don’t have to be. The new me let it go. Yet, in the days to follow, it continued to pop up in a synchronistic flow.

I found myself using the same line when someone was yammering on about Salena Gomez, and once again when the juicy details of an affair were shared via another conversation.

The night my dinner plans were derailed, I had an intuitive nudge. I pulled up Fandango for Hollywood Arclight Cinemas. It was while reading movie reviews that I wondered why we often choose movies based on the judgement of a critic versus what feels good in our heart?

Scanning the movie options, I passed over those that didn’t feel right and landed on a film I had never heard of. Carrie Pilby. I watched the trailer and smiled. Instantly, I knew it was for me.

I arrived at the cinema to find a movie premiere with celebrities walking the carpet. I snuck in a side door to avoid the fuss and paused before purchasing my ticket. Was Carrie Pilby really the movie I was meant to see? My gut told me yes, and that was confirmed by the seat number I was assigned. Twenty-two. The number that pops up when I know I’m on the right track.

Waiting for ‘real’ butter on my popcorn, Jessica Chastaine breezed by. I headed the opposite direction and was enthralled when Bel Powley lit up the screen. There wasn’t loud action, or overpowering music, just a bright light coming from an actress’s essence I could feel from my seat. Unlike most movie reviews, mine isn’t based on my personal opinions of what the director did or didn’t do, or whether the script was this or that, I’ll only tell you how Carrie Pilby made me feel. Great! I didn’t have the urge to check the time, nor was I ready for the story to end. And that’s not something I can say about the last three blockbusters I’ve seen.

When I attended the Women in Entertainment Summit at the same theatre a year prior, I wrote about their focused attempt to showcase strong, female characters whose realistic stories have an authentic point of view in my post – An Open Thank You to Women in Entertainment.   Carrie Pilby did just that.  Her unique perspective of choosing not to emulate others was refreshing, especially when she learned not to judge others when she didn’t want to be judged.

Kudos to Susan Johnson in her directorial debut. I love it when someone has the courage to step out of their comfort zone, in her case producing, and pursue their passion. Not only did I leave the theatre feeling great, I felt inspired to continue to follow my dream – having my novel Complicated…by Design turned into a movie.

Although Carrie Pilby was out in limited release, you can still check it out on demand. Of course, if it feels right in your heart.

Here’s the trailer.

Directed by Susan Johnson
Produced by
Susan Cartsonis
Suzanne Farwell
Brent Emery
Written by
Kara Holden
Dean Craig
Based on Carrie Pilby
by Caren Lissner
Bel Powley
Vanessa Bayer
Colin O’Donoghue
William Moseley
Jason Ritter
Gabriel Byrne
Nathan Lane
Music by Michael Penn
Cinematography Gonzalo Amat
Edited by Phillip J. Bartell
Braveart Films
Distributed by The Orchard
Release date
September 9, 2016 (TIFF)
March 31, 2017 (United States)
Running time
98 minutes
Country United States
Language English

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