Do you know that familiar voice in your head that reminds you to count calories and prods you to work out? The one that warns you not to take chances, urges you to resist change and fear failure. I bet you hear it daily; making you question what other people think about your hair, your make up, your attitude. And, no, I’m not talking about your mother.
Do you ever wonder who that incessant voice is, and how you make it shut up? I questioned whether the voice I heard telling me not to wear those jeans because they made my thighs look fat was the reason I wasn’t searching for Mr. Perfect. Okay, it could’ve been that my shattered heart was still on the mend, and the subsequent dates I’d had were disastrous. Whatever the reason, I wanted the bickering in my brain to stop. I was tired of hearing, “Put on makeup in case you run into a hot guy at the grocery store.” I was also fed up with feeling like I had to fight back with, “I’m a successful woman, I don’t need a man.”
I had fabulous friends, a house most my age would be envious of, and a cat who provided unconditional love. Even though the cat-thing might have led you to believe I was lonely, I wasn’t. If I allowed myself to be truly honest, I was unhappy. Why, though? I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have been.
It was 2012 when I decided that my typical resolutions, like lose ten pounds and drink less alcohol, were lame. What I really wanted was to squelch the voice in my brain that sounded like it had commandeered a megaphone. I also wanted to tame the pampered and pompous performers in the design circus that had become my life.
This is how my journey to find peace and maintain my sanity began…
If you’d like to read more, check out my novel, Complicated…by Design. It’s Eat Pray Love meets Trainwreck.
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