Topp Ten Random Things They Don’t Tell You in Design School

1)  How can you tell if a client is cheap?  I have three simple words – single-ply toilet paper. 

You can’t judge how much money someone has, or is willing to spend, by the designer labels they wear or the type of car they drive. However, the toilet paper they put out for guests speaks volumes. So, the next time you meet a potential client at their house, politely excuse yourself and head straight to the loo. 

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2)  Don’t be surprised when the couple driving a beat-up car, wearing ratty clothes with holes, is wealthier and, more importantly, nicer, than the couple dripping in diamonds. And, when I say clothes with holes, I don’t mean a mesh tank top where the man’s hair curls out. Eew! That’s another story…

3) Marriage Counseling 101 should be a minimum requirement. 

4) Psychology as a minor will come in handy. Not to mention honing your innate psychic abilities, because clients will expect you to read their minds. 

5) There are clients out there who will lead you to believe that they are somehow less fortunate and the sky is falling. Of course, less fortunate is a relative term because these people have money, they just don’t have as much as they would like. Thus, they think they are entitled to deep discounts. Why? That’s still a mystery to me. 

6)  There is no such thing as a DESIGN Emergency. And, no, their friends not liking the tassel fringe on their silk pillows doesn’t count.   

7) As a designer, you should know that when you walk onto a job site you are already considered a bitch by most builders, architects, etc..  We have the reputation of being arrogant, over-priced and aesthetically driven without having a practical bone in our bodies. It’s your job to change that mindset. 

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8) What NOT to talk about with clients.  Of course, this is completely up to you. I choose to skip religion and politics. Half-way through my career, I added global warming to that list.

9) Don’t be surprised when you are asked to design strategically-placed grab bars in a shower, or a blow-job bench.  Can you say slide-out knee rest?

10) When shopping for toilets, there WILL be male clients who will simulate a test drive. Digging in their heels and wiggling their asses while mock reading a magazine is far more common that you may think. Not to mention, the ones who ask for a water closet where their balls won’t hit china. Let that sink in…it may take a minute!

By no means are these the only things….

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